You are here: Home . Writing

From the Writing archives

I write 'By The Way', a humour and satire column that runs in ,The Sunday Monitor. I make many attempts to keep it serious and full of incisive facts. My editor doesn't quite agree.
Besides 'By The Way', I give a take on spirituality, manhood and marriage

How to react to Jazz music

Jazz music is around us all the time and the untrained are always stumped on what to do when it is playing. I used my spare time last week to interview jazz enthusiasts to try and get tips on what one ought to do when suddenly surrounded by jazz. This can happen anywhere. At the […]

How to be a great public speaker

This column always explores ways to make you a better citizen. We have spoken at length about the effects walking has on the environment; we have encouraged you to tiptoe instead. We also presented research from a top research institution showing how bad it is to speak audibly. The decibels produced, especially when speaking nonsense, […]

Surving at the ATM machine

Several times we find ourselves waiting in line at an ATM because the person who went in before us is taking forever to get out. Much as we usually while the time away by whipping out our phone to read or by whistling the latest ballad from Drake, we are usually fighting the urge […]

How to cure a hangover

I have read a lot about hangovers. Not when going through one…nothing like that. My time in social gatherings is spent sipping from a small bottle of Frutifly syrup I carry around. It somehow never gets empty due to this revolution in technology in America where they intravenously keep sending fluid to the bottle every […]

How to spot a wolf in a sheep’s skin

In this column, we have covered before how some sayings are no longer applicable today. We looked at the oft-used “A bird in hand is worth two in the bush”. We tore the saying to bits using all kinds of references; foreign and local, those from the past and others from the future…we even referred […]

Solve all your computer problems

Have you ever been consumed by an over-whelming desire to pick up your computer and hurl it at a fast-moving train? Of course you have. Everyone has. Slow computers irritate all of us. The only things stopping you from doing it are the facts that you would have to travel a very big distance (and […]

What is your calling in life?

We often muse about what our destiny is. Thousands of research papers, none of which I have read while writing this, suggest that we all have a particular purpose on this earth and that the most successful people in life have found that purpose. What is your purpose dear reader? (Pregnant pause) Does this thought […]

Why it sucks to grow up

This piece is for the young reader spending nights awake wishing they were more grown up. This wish could stem from the fact that they have no wisdom teeth and as such cannot appreciate tearing away at chunky bits of roast goat the way daddy and mummy do. The wish could also be because grown-ups […]

Five ways to use a lift properly

The thriving, robust economy is to blame for all the new buildings that are reaching for the sky. With high-rising buildings come lifts. At least most times. A friend of mine told me she was off to a meeting on the ninth floor of a building without a lift. I haven’t heard from her since […]

How to give customer care a black eye

If you own a restaurant, this piece is especially for you. How do you keep your customer’s pallet wet while your staff runs off to the Nile to capture fish and chop off their fingers to prepare the fish fingers the customer pointed out on the menu? The customer is king…and  the king is hungry. […]