Let’s invest in foreign ghosts

We were thrilled when news broke that the Uganda National Roads Authority (UNRA) allegedly paid about 24 billion to a ghost company from outside countries to do the Mukono-Katosi Road. It was hard for us to hide our excitement as a nation; UNRA had finally broken free of the grip local ghosts had on us. […]

Shoot for the Miss Uganda crown

Last week, word reached us that the army was in talks with the Miss Uganda Foundation to take over the Miss Uganda beauty pageant. I’d hate to be in the Miss Uganda Foundation’s high heels; I imagine talks with the army to be largely one-sided communications on what’s going to happen next. You probably have […]

Why you need a class on patriotism

Word in powerful corridors says that schools risk losing licenses if they don’t provide patriotism lessons. A few students have already been enrolled and taught how to get their hearts to beat faster at the mention of Uganda. Many naysayers have said their nays arguing that no one should be taught how to be patriotic; […]

Forward this or else

Every so often, you receive a beautiful message on WhatsApp or by email telling you great things about yourself. The message extols the virtues of sacrifice, love and courage. You are so touched, you want to cry. You are fighting to hold the tears in; there are too many people around and they shouldn’t see […]

Save me Sevo

It has been reported before that our Members of Parliament are deeply indebted. Some, reports say, have been jailed by money lenders for not giving to Badru what belongs to him. Word started doing the rounds this week that our beloved leader has approved a cash bailout to the tune of 42 billion shillings, with […]

Prospering in traffic jam

Last week, we started a journey on thriving amidst heady traffic. We decried how much traffic has robbed this country of sweet time that would have been spent building the nation. We moaned how traffic has turned us into liars, making us tell the person on the other end of the line “I’m just here […]

Beating traffic 101

Our country is in a hurry. Every single person is in a hurry somewhere. To work to clock-in and leave to ‘chase a deal’. To school to sit as teachers go on strike. To the gym to sweat a bit. To the bar before happy hour is done. To the bank to join the beautiful […]

Thankful for being Ugandan

It requires a lot of will power to stay Ugandan; different stories in the media make people do Google searches to see if there are countries out there that can adopt them. You had expect that after doing the search once, one would never try to look again…till the next big story hits and all […]

Army takes war to the garden

Our beloved leader recently sent word out that the National Agricultural Advisory Service (NAADS) be given marching orders and be replaced with the strong men and women we usually turn to, to keep the peace during elections-the army. Our leader didn’t send the word on Twitter so he had enough characters to expound; he added […]

Pastors are like WhatsApp

Last week, my fellow columnist and personal friend, Rogers Balamaga (he’s down to the right if you are reading the papers. Hi Rogers) wrote about how pastors are inciting witchcraft wars. He gave an engaging account of how during his high school, while in a prayer and worship session, a visiting evangelist spoke words of […]