Do you read some stories in the news and immediately think that all that’s lacking is some good actors, a great soundtrack and a deep-voiced narrator to turn the story into a blockbuster movie? You do? I do too. Last week, well after I’d submitted an article for publishing, one such story came up. One so interesting, it walked in and demanded that ‘By The Way’ be about it. See, it was reported that two Members of Parliament got into a fist fight. Two female MPs, it is alleged, took the phrase ‘the power is in your hands’ literally by swinging that power at each other. I can’t give a blow by blow account (heavy pause) but here’s an account of the events, adapted for a movie.

The setting: The ruling party’s MPs are at a week-long retreat in Kyankwanzi, resplendent in yellow, discussing important national matters, only taking time off to breathe. The sun’s shining, a gentle breeze is blowing, lulling some to sleep, but only for a few minutes at a time.

Characters: Ms Ann Nankabirwa, the Kyankwanzi District MP aka AnDistracable and Ms Florence Nebanda ,Butaleja Woman MP aka Flo

Conflict: Both AnDistracable and Flo are peace-loving, patriotic citizens, diligently serving the country. But something in their food, some experimental drug dropped in by an evil NRM scientist that can’t be named here lest the newspaper be shut down, changed all that.

Flo, tired from the day’s activities, heads back to the dormitory to turn in. Her bed though has been given away to someone else by AnDistracable. Flo investigates and discovers what happened. She confronts AnDistracable about it. Then the drug kicks in and the events that follow aren’t suitable for the family section of the newspaper like this. Suffice to say they did not shake hands and have a civil conversation about it, one punctuated with laughter and a few sips of tea.

The MP's debate
The MP’s debate

For the sake of the movie, while the above ‘discussions’ take place, a crowd mills around the discussants, cheering them on and placing bets on who’ll win. An ambulance also rushes to the scene, ready to whisk away any by-stander injured by any stray word used by the discussants. The evil scientist behind all this stands by, grinning at his success.

Moral: Don’t just give out people’s beds

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