One day to the LC5 by-elections in Busia, our beloved leader visited the district to buy the elections (because what else can you do in by-elections?). That was a joke. Back to the point; a day before the elections, our leader shows up to drum-up some support for his party’s candidate. To sway the electorate, I believe he whipped out charm and exuded hardcore passion for seeing the district develop. He probably used the kind of eloquence that undoubtedly brought the eager listeners to tears. In all that, he slipped in this,

“I have the money you need for some of the social services but if you make a mistake and vote for the Opposition, you would be blocking the channel because they cannot approach me.”

Beloved leader with all the money
Beloved leader with all the money

It was a wrap. The electorate was fully convinced. All those that had been on the fence, unmoved by the eloquence, passion, charm, and all those other great things we’ve come to expect from our leader, were finally sold on the money. How would the district develop under someone who can’t approach the man with the money? The district needs social services, social services need money, the man with the money says no one but his party’s candidate can approach him (maybe because he has a force field around him that can only be penetrated by his party’s cardholders)-it was an easy decision for the electorate to make. They showed up the next day and 58% of all votes cast went to the man our leader backed. It is believed that all those who voted someone else had not had the opportunity to listen to our leader’s speech the previous day.

All the naysayers finding fault with our dear leader having the nation’s money haven’t thought it through. Think about it- you, or any other citizen, can stop his motorcade and he’d help you out right there and then. No need to take the long route of advocating through your MP-he might fall asleep in Parliament and not deliver your request.

Also, our leader has good security, among the best in the world. We are very certain that our money is safe at all times.

Another thing is that our beloved leader is a rich man so he won’t eat the money.

And then, if ever any money got lost (though this can’t happen), we’d know whom to ask. No need to setup entire committees (that need facilitation) to investigate misappropriation. In this setup, we’d just ask him and he’d tell us.

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