Whistling, driving happily along an uneven path, track, trail or if you are lucky enough to find a road in Kampala, you eventually realise that every so often, drivers turn without giving a turn signal, or “indicating”. This might rile you. You may feel the urge to construct a sentence using only expletives and send it in their general direction. Resist this urge. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Turn up the Isaiah Katumwa coming through your speakers and think happy thoughts. Think of rainbow, unicorns, patriotic public servants and pigs that fly. This column is for you individual who does not indicate. The columnist had to cut his research into why you don’t indicate short, but here are the benefits:

Using your car indicators is good exercise. Research by The Gemini Psychological and Social Awareness of long NGO names and other things institute shows that the health benefits of moving your finger to indicate are innumerable. It is good exercise. It gets your blood rushing and reduces the risk of heart disease, a lot of other bad diseases and ailments and STIs by a big percentage.

The institute’s research funding run out before they could actually put a percentage to the ‘big percentage’ but this columnist, using sheer intuition, feels the percentage is about 62 per cent. Indicate and reduce the risk of all that stuff stated up there by 62 per cent. In fact, by 72 per cent. Imagine.

Indicating helps drivers know what you intend to do. For example, if there is a goat at the side of the road and for one reason or the other, you want to ram into it, giving a turn signal lets the other drivers know this. That way they can honk and hope you re-think your decision or they can drive to the side of the road, whip out their smart phones and record the entire thing as it goes down. You would be an instant internet sensation simply because you gave the turn signal. Always “indicate”.

It is good exercise for the car. Cars need exercise too. By indicating you allow the car work out its pectoralis major circuit. This is located somewhere near the fixal dorsal of your car. Working this out extends your car’s life by several years. Do it. Use that turn signal. Make your car happy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *