I particularly love this article because on a dreary evening working late, my parents called me, laughing heartily and quoting lines from it, saying it had totally, totally cracked them up.  I hope you enjoy it too

Kikyusa Sub-county chairperson, Abubaker Mubiru Ssematimba, last week asked schools to compose Museveni-praise songs. I feel for the young mind hunched over his Picfare book, writing and angrily throwing away draft after draft of lyrics. Coining the perfect lyrics to show gratitude to anyone is no mean-feat, especially someone as larger-than-life as our leader.

Here, here young one, let’s do this together. Let’s work on this so you can go back to focusing on passing your examinations, ok? Before you get too excited though, I have no experience writing songs. True story. To be fair though, I share a surname with the late composer of our national anthem-surely, that counts for something. Now that your faith is restored, let’s proceed.

I propose that you perform this song when our beloved leader visits your school (or when your school gets a chance to sing at Kololo at the Independence/Heroes/Liberation/other day celebrations)

 (Beloved leader walks, while waving to the gathered crowd, towards the assembled children)

(Single child steps to the front, hands him a huge bouquet of flowers – no roses because they have thorns and we could charge you with treason, young one)

(Single child walks backwards towards the rest of the choir, not turning his back to the leader)

(Single child breaks into song, two steps away from the rest)

You are welcome dear leader, you are welcome
We are happy to receive you
You are welcome
You are….

(The rest jump in, chirpy, smiley, excited)

You are welcome dear leader
We thank you today
(They start to do a hand and foot movements in sync with the lyrics, feet swinging forward while the hands go back, alternate, repeat)

Where would we be without you
We would not exist
Because our folks would have gone with heart disease
What with all the sausages they were swallowing

(Energetic young girls break out into Bakisimba, move in single file from the back of the choir to the front then split into four sets and break into a heavy routine)

With you here, we swell with excitement
Joy is our indictment
Mobile phones, civilization, soda, TV, clothes you brought us
Those naysayers probably can’t even see KFC
Our folks now even sleep at night,
Actually they don’t since they now have discos
Long life, prosperity, to you and yours is our wish
You are welcome dear leader (repeat till fade)

(Acrobatic young boys somersault to where the four sets of dancing girls are and together, dance off stage, smiley, chirpy, happy)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *