The Life Magazine in which this column runs in The Sunday Monitor had a wedding issue. Weddings  aren’t something I’d ordinarily write about but the envelope had to be pushed. This is what I came up with.

This wedding issue of Life magazine has left frills and decorative jars strewn all over the place. It’s pretty hard to write in a workspace full of petals so dude, this one’s brief. As you plan your wedding, some quick thoughts.

First, you and your fiancé probably haven’t talked about just you in quite a while now. Your past conversations have probably been about one thing or another about the wedding- one review of a to-do list after another. Things are urgent, very urgent and very very urgent. Conflict is there asking you two for a hug. It would be great for you to make time for you two to talk about everything else but the wedding-you are friends after all. Ask her, how is she, that fiancé of yours? Like really, how is she?

There are those ‘strange’ counselling sessions – dude, go for them. If you can find somewhere where it’s done by a couple, it would be perfect.  It’s best to get both sides of the story. I think you need a man who’s been there to be objective and authentic with you. I believe being a husband to that beautiful lady is one of the highest offices you’ll ever hold – you can’t over-prepare.

Pray. You need the good Lord in your corner – it’s trickier trying to do this on your own.

Plan your honeymoon, man. After the whirlwind that is preparation, meeting expectations ( and  dashing some), tears, arguments, I think you need that time off. Wherever it is that you go, cut the world off completely and focus on just you two. Your house is great but I think it would be ideal to have a few days, even very few, somewhere away. It doesn’t have to be fancy. The change of scenery is good for both of you. You can do the rest of the time at your house.

Lastly, enjoy your day, dude. Be deliberate about it. No phones. Have a go-to man or woman for all matters-arising. Food will run out. Chairs will break. The hotel will refuse to serve more drinks. A three-legged chicken will fly in and lay a green egg on the MC’s head. None of that is yours to handle-your go-to person-brother, sister, chairman, whoever- has that covered. The day is yours, enjoy it. Focus on your glorious bride – remind her that she’s doing the right thing. Send her something in the morning – a note, text, flowers, a unicorn. Focus on her. Make sure that she too enjoys her day – fire-fighting isn’t yours, you are the groom after all.

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