This time of the year sees a lot of people return home after spending quite a while abroad. Making the transition from that country to here, several high-profile studies say, is usually daunting. Thing is, when you were away, you longed for home. The picture of home you had in mind was a bit played-up though .

Your mind skipped the dust, the potholes, the noise, the disorder, the general sluggishness and all those other nice things my word limit will not let me list. I’m here to gently ease you back into the beautiful place you call home.

Most returning citizens are usually shaken free of the flowery image of home by the heat that hugs them at the airport. That and the number of goats they count on the short drive from Entebbe to the city. Here are a few pointers to ease you back into life in our little cove.

Politicians still behave badly.

There are still moments when, watching news, you need to run and cover your child’s eyes and ears to shield them from being scarred by some things our leaders say and do.

You also need to exercise tonnes of restraint to prevent yourself from saying nasty things in reaction to these things. Traffic cops still direct traffic right next to functioning traffic lights. It is still in your best interests not to make eye contact with them as you drive past-afande might think you hostile.

The high and mighty still cut corners. They still, for lack of better words, embezzle, steal, misappropriate and abuse public funds.

The head of state has not changed. Enough said.

Customer care is still work in progress. Be gracious with rude attendants; it has been a hard year you know.

Queues everywhere are still a mile long.

You wiil find several in the bank and pretty much many places you will go to. Chances are you are in the wrong queue and you will be directed to the correct one by the rude attendant We do use mobile money for quite a few things here. Your credit card will not do you much good.

There is still no winter here though. You will not need your gloves and heavy jacket. Do not unpack your fur coat and thick boots. Or the accent, mate.

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