Not so long ago, in a land where the sun never sets and money grows on trees that there is so much and the powers that be choose to send some abroad to buy expensive gadgets for people who do not use them. Here, the average man’s major problem is whether his MP is reading the latest proposed Bill off paper or on an iPad. We got wind on the need to have more information on how to use an iPad. These tips come when MPs seem to be struggling to use the device but it is merely coincidental and these tips aren’t targeted at them at all.

1.Switch it on
You will know it is on when it glows – not the glow of a torch, more like the quiet, unassuming one of a low Watt bulb.
2.Swipe with your finger
No buttons. I know, deplorable. You need to move your finger across the screen to do anything. Pressing buttons on your phone after spending so much time at a PC keyboard causes immense stress. The swipe motion addresses this. Imagine you are a conductor (of a choir, not a taxi) – the hand movements you would use there are similar to the ones you need here

3.Download and install
Get Whatsapp – it is this thing that allows you to send SMS using the Internet. The other person sends you a reply SMS instantly. If they do not, you can see when they were last online so you know that they are merely ignoring you. The golden “don’t drink and sms” rule applies to Whatsapp too.
4.Like your phone, do not wash it.


5.Some iPads take SIM cards, others don’t. The latter are meant to only communicate using Wi-Fi. In a country like ours, using an all Wi-Fi device might present a few challenges since coverage is limited. There are workarounds though, like spending all your days at Javas

6. If it is well wiped, you can use it as a mirror.
7.Show it off, we need to see it
Use every opportunity to whip it out; it is so big that having it lying idly in your hand only wears your body down fast. Read your speech from it. Toast by asking fellow MPs to raise their iPads (not their glasses). When making a point, whip it out to show off an image to bring the point home.

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