Wasap! It’s been 3 weeks since we heard from each other. Long time! Some bats had sent applications for blog tenancy; the nerve of those creatures. My apologies for the absence – the 8to5 and Londa, in that order, had taken their toll. Today and over the next 2 days, I’ll share the weekly articles from those 3 weeks then we’ll resume normal weekly programming next week. Steady? steady. Here’s something from 3 weeks ago – right after the ex-Primier announced his intentions to run for our beloved leader’s job…I know, I know, mawolu, but this is the kind that’s been in the microwave. Happy Monday!
This week ended a long wait; we were finally told what weâd been told weâd be told. âIâll tell you when I tell you what Iâll tell you and youâll know that youâve been told a true tale,â had become a popular tongue twister in schools around the country. Our children were getting migraines trying to say it without biting their tongues. Our teachers were writing the statement on the blackboard, not daring to try and say it themselves. We had nearly reached our witâs end so the former Prime Ministerâs grand reveal was a welcome relief. We can now go back to âThree witches made three wishesâŚ.â
In the statement, our former Premier pointed out an ailing system as one of the reasons for his declaration of his intention to run for President. Our beloved leader, it is reported, was quick to throw our former Premier under the (movement) bus, pointing out that he was in many ways behind the system he was now criticizing. If thereâs any bus you donât want to be thrown under, itâs the movement bus (because it is moving, geddit?)
We were very surprised by the announcement. Here are a few other announcements thatâll surprise us just as much:
The grass saying itâll be green next year, not red. Weâd on one hand be struggling to understand how grass suddenly got a voice and on the other, why it chose to stay green. Why not switch things up a bit? You canât honestly be green that long and still be happy. Somethingâs got to give.
Boda boda riders, through their association, announcing that for the next six months, theyâll bend traffic rules here and there. Theyâd tell us that in their current state, the rules arenât tailored to suit an average motorcycle rider. Things like disregarding traffic lights and policemen, adding fashionable scratches to peopleâs cars, denting vehicles and speeding off, suddenly entering a road â those things, in the interest of all road users, need to go on.
Ghosts telling us that it wonât be long before another institution is discovered to be harbouring & feeding them.
Potholes informing us that in the next year, we can count on running into them on our roads. Theyâd tell us that they might move around and change size a little, but they have plans to stay.
All these things, and a lot more, would shock us as much as this weekâs huge announcement did. What other announcement would take you by surprise?