Wasap! It’s been 3 weeks since we heard from each other. Long time! Some bats had sent applications for blog tenancy; the nerve of those creatures. My apologies for the absence – the 8to5 and Londa, in that order, had taken their toll. Today and over the next 2 days, I’ll share the weekly articles from those 3 weeks then we’ll resume normal weekly programming next week. Steady? steady. Here’s something from 3 weeks ago – right after the ex-Primier announced his intentions to run for our beloved leader’s job…I know, I know, mawolu, but this is the kind that’s been in the microwave. Happy Monday!
This week ended a long wait; we were finally told what we’d been told we’d be told. “I’ll tell you when I tell you what I’ll tell you and you’ll know that you’ve been told a true tale,” had become a popular tongue twister in schools around the country. Our children were getting migraines trying to say it without biting their tongues. Our teachers were writing the statement on the blackboard, not daring to try and say it themselves. We had nearly reached our wit’s end so the former Prime Minister’s grand reveal was a welcome relief. We can now go back to “Three witches made three wishes….”
In the statement, our former Premier pointed out an ailing system as one of the reasons for his declaration of his intention to run for President. Our beloved leader, it is reported, was quick to throw our former Premier under the (movement) bus, pointing out that he was in many ways behind the system he was now criticizing. If there’s any bus you don’t want to be thrown under, it’s the movement bus (because it is moving, geddit?)
We were very surprised by the announcement. Here are a few other announcements that’ll surprise us just as much:
The grass saying it’ll be green next year, not red. We’d on one hand be struggling to understand how grass suddenly got a voice and on the other, why it chose to stay green. Why not switch things up a bit? You can’t honestly be green that long and still be happy. Something’s got to give.
Boda boda riders, through their association, announcing that for the next six months, they’ll bend traffic rules here and there. They’d tell us that in their current state, the rules aren’t tailored to suit an average motorcycle rider. Things like disregarding traffic lights and policemen, adding fashionable scratches to people’s cars, denting vehicles and speeding off, suddenly entering a road – those things, in the interest of all road users, need to go on.
Ghosts telling us that it won’t be long before another institution is discovered to be harbouring & feeding them.
Potholes informing us that in the next year, we can count on running into them on our roads. They’d tell us that they might move around and change size a little, but they have plans to stay.
All these things, and a lot more, would shock us as much as this week’s huge announcement did. What other announcement would take you by surprise?