We live in interesting times, in a very interesting state. This week had a lot of news that read like satire; the only thing reminding us that this was the real deal was who was reporting it (serious guys using that no-nonsense reporter voice). One story that held its ground in all this was one about some things the Minister of State for Lands, Ms Aidah Nantaba, said. She reportedly advised residents of Kayunga District, who are being evicted from their land, to undress before land grabbers as a tactic to scare them away. She didn’t stop at that – she had a strong basis for her sound advice. She said that the residents should do this to emulate residents of Amuru and Soroti districts who undressed to assert their land rights.

I’m not in any way against people standing up for their rights. What I’m against though is that these people are only being given half the advice. Imagine you wanted to run for President and I advised you to release a video and stop at that. In the same vein, our dear Minister of State only gave the people of Kayunga half of what they should do. Here’s the rest:

Consider having some background music. If you are going to do something like that, you might at the very least find ways to make the most of the experience. I don’t have suggestions on how, as a group, you’ll go about selecting the playlist but democracy is generally encouraged.

Have the police in attendance. They’ll form a ring around you to shield you from more people so only the targeted audience receives your message. They’ll also let you know at what point you start to step on the law that made Father Lokodo famous.

Inform the medics beforehand. As serious as this cause is, we need to eliminate the possibility of some people undermining your cause by thinking some screws are loose.

Cover the children’s eyes. Order a 48-hour ban on all media for children. During this time, they should stick to story books and ludo.

Clean-up the internet afterwards. In many areas that have been ravaged by war, stray bombs that remain strewn all over the place usually cause damage several years later. To avoid this, clean up the internet. We don’t want your children (or anyone’s children) to come across those images.

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