The Big Brother Africa (BBA) house went up in flames last month because at that instant, millions of minds around the continent were thinking “BBA is hot! Sooo hot!” The official statement released said some nonsense about there being “investigations to get to the bottom of the matter” but we all know that our collective excitement at the impending launch did it. Mind over matter is real. If you are among the tiny group of people who didn’t contribute to the fire, you probably don’t think much of the reality show. Let me let you in on what we were thinking while you were standing at the water dispenser willing the report at your desk to write itself. BBA is hot because:

It encourages open dialogue between well-fed, well-able youth from across the continent. The dialogue is so open, at certain points you need to let go of certain inhibitions like some of your garments. You know how clothes make it hard to express yourself articulately. See, the percentage of youth in Africa is so big, the debates started in the house instantly affect economies as the contestants’ peers respond to the deep stuff being said. We are a few seasons away from seeing our economies make a ninja leap forward….any season now, things are going to change. Think of it like a United Nations conference…but of young, excited people.

It showcases the athleticism, eloquence and stamina of youth across the continent. You go dizzy wondering, “How do you drink so much and only throw up thrice? Do you have a blog somewhere so you can share your tips?” “Your Kung Fu is strong my brother! Oh wait, you were dancing. Ahh. Proceed”

With unemployment rates being what they are, the show is a breath of fresh air. Like a true big brother looking out for his own, full-time employment is provided for several people. Left to their own devices, who knows, they might be out there writing sarcastic articles about TV shows-but they are employed and that load is taken off society’s shoulders. In the future, as the show grows, we can look forward to, with joy that’s hard to hide, the day when we’d have a Big Brother nation, not a house. An entire nation being broadcast live for our entertainment. At that point, there’d probably be many shower hours because, you know, an entire nation can’t quite use one shower.

All hail BBA; it gives food to these people. And alcohol. You’d argue that they have alcohol back home but I’d counter and point out that they drink like they don’t.

It encourages tourism. When one sees what, for example, a Ghanaian looks, talks, showers and has sex like, they are encouraged to immediately visit that country.

Can’t you also see how these people are setting the bar high? All our starry-eyed toddlers watching are forming opinions on how to carry themselves around.

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