The unemployment rate in this country is what donor funds are to an unmonitored politician -bad. The joblessness has driven most graduates this columnist has spoken to, when asked what they’d like to do, to say ‘anything’.
There are several manuals out there on how to ace your next interview. There are equally as many on how to moonwalk into an interview room to be perceived as a prize job candidate. Getting a job is one of the hurdles; the other is keeping sane while you have it. Here on this very day, we will delve into some extra baggage that comes with some jobs; things you usually aren’t told. We need to prepare you.
If you become a columnist, you will occasionally have to deal with the back pain that comes from hunching over a computer all day, attempting to topple Shakespeare’s work. You will want to type out words that will win awards but that back pain, the classic Kryptonite. This will step in and reduce your several pages of hard work will turn into a Facebook status update.
If you become a taxi conductor, the occasional fight with an unhappy alighting passenger is part of your employment contract. It is in the fine print, the bits typed so small, only bespectacled owls can read them. He’ll say you’ve charged him Shs 500 more than what you ought to. Either that or he already paid you.
If you become a Member of Parliament, or a politician on the opposition, being lifted by your buckles, in front of glaring cameras, is part of your job description. Also, you will inhale teargas every other week. You could prepare for this by going to Kenya for high altitude training to expand your lungs.
If you get to work in a hospital, regardless of what you do there, you should get ready for everyone asking for medical advice. We collectively believe that there is this invisible hand constantly planting medical knowledge into everyone who works in the hospital.
One day we will ask about what to do about an aching back. The next we will inquire about our cough that has persisted for too long. Then we will ask whether there is anything you can give us for lice.
You will tell us you are the janitor. We will pause and then ask about the best way to get rid of persistent headaches is.