Queuing up in banks is quite an experience. If for some strange reason you’ve never been in a queue in a bank, like maybe you’ve been away training circus monkeys how to do a perfect back flip, or you keep your money in a hole under the mvule tree in your backyard, I’ll be kind enough to let you in on the mechanics.
Banks are fancy places where only people with money are allowed to walk in, nose in the air, shoulders high, bosom out and head to the counter and say “Here, keep my dime you people.” As you walk out, the bank people are supposed to pick up your money and run out and invest it in stocks, real estate, massive pig farms and tomato research. When later in the day, a taxi driver swerves into the road without indicating and hits your car, you will turn down the volume on your I-pod and let out a small wail. You’ll then walk back to the bank and say “Now that dime of mine that I gave you, give me some also me”. But before you can get to the girl with long hair and a pretty smile behind that glass with a hole in it for you to put your hand through, you have to go through a queue.
The normal queue will place thrusty Tom behind you. He is that guy who is so eager to get to the counter, he’ll stand close enough for you to know exactly what he had for dinner.
In the queue, chatty Charles will usually be within earshot. He’s that person who will keep going on about how his dollar account has been blocked. And how he needs the money badly because his goods from ‘The States’ are stuck at the border.
Penless Prisca is usually that one who’ll borrow your pen and not return it.
There is also usually one person in the queue listening to music. He chose to listen to the music alone, so he has earphones on but then he got to the queue and thought better of it; he suddenly wanted to share the music with the rest of you, so he chose to sing it to you. His awesome music collection usually has Celine Dione, Mariah Carey and Awilo in there.
When, two days later, you finally get to the counter, there is always something wrong with your paperwork. Either you didn’t sign in enough places. Or you signed in too many places. Or you didn’t punctuate the amount you want to withdraw. You wrote ‘Ten Thou’ instead of ‘Ten Thousand Shillings Only Madam’.
Published on Sunday September 25, 2011